Parental Alienation Syndrome

My 13yo daughter, BZ, has moved with her father to another city. I was informed tonight that she doesn't wish to visit me regularly. After review of the below warning signs, I recognize several instances (in italics) which are either happening or have happened in the past. This has happened for so long, that I'm afraid it may be too late to reverse the damage. I'm contacting an attorney tomorrow for a consultation.

Warning Signs of Parental Alienation

How can you tell if your ex is attempting to alienate your child? Here are some warning symptoms psychologists have observed in children suffering from parental alienation syndrome, according to Dr. Douglas Darnall, Ph.D:

• Giving a child a choice as to whether or not to visit with the other parent.

• Telling the child details about the marital relationship or reasons for the divorce.

• Refusing to acknowledge that the child has property and may want to transport possessions between residences.

• Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities.

• One parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, or having a girlfriend or boyfriend.

• Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child's needs, or scheduling the child in so many activities that the other parent is never given the time to visit.

• Assuming that if a parent has been physically abusive with the other parent, it follows that the parent will assault the child. This assumption is not always true.

• Asking the child to choose one parent over the other.

• The alienating parent encouraging any natural anger the child has toward the other parent.

• A parent or stepparent suggesting changing the child's name or having the stepparent adopt the child.

• When the child cannot give reasons for being angry towards a parent or gives reasons that are vague and without any details.

• Using a child to spy or covertly gather information for the parent's own use.

• Arranging temptations that interfere with the other parent's visitation.

• Reacting with hurt or sadness to a child having a good time with the other parent.

• Asking the child about the other parent's personal life.

• Physically or psychologically rescuing a child when there is no threat to their safety.

• Making demands on the other parent that are contrary to court orders.

• Listening in on the child's phone conversation with the other parent.

On Hiatus

KD's in school. I'm working. Neither of us are "stayin' home" so I won't be blogging here for a while. I'll be back, just don't know when.

If ever there was a time to be overly dramatic...

'Tis with a heavy heart that I must regretfully subject my daughter to that which I have previously shunned: Public School. Finances and current life situation requires me to return to the work force. My husband's schedule is not such that I may plan my employment around it, so I must rely on the free day care that is kindergarten. I only hope that my daughter's unquenchable thirst for learning does not fall prey to the indoctrination of the system. Only time will tell...

Transitions

This blog started out as a promotion of my work-at-home endeavors. Somewhere along the way, it's evolved into a homeschooling blog. Funny, I actually enjoy blogging now.

Blogger Friend School

Okay, so I hastily joined this blogging homeschool group, thinking it would be fun.  I never liked assigned writing in school.  Why did I think I'd enjoy it now?  Besides, I'm not a very religious person and I don't focus on biblical studies, though we do talk about them once in a while.  KD goes to church and says her prayers, but we don't work on that at home.  What?!  A homeschooling mom who doesn't teach the Bible?  Yes, it does happen occasionally, much to the dismay of the majority of homeschoolers.  So I'm sorry, Blogger Friend School.  I'm sure you've got a wonderful group of great homeschooling families, so I don't want to disparage you in the least.  I liked the idea when it was just an idea.  When I tried putting it into practice, I didn't think it was such a good idea anymore.

Part Time Job

Briefly state why you are interested in working for the Jacksonville Public Library:

• It's not a restaurant, grocery store or factory
  
• I get to specify which side of town I'd like to work
• The hours are right
• It's worth repeating that it's not a restaurant
  

Briefly state why you would be the best candidate for the position for which you are applying:

• I can speak English
• I can read and write
  
• I smile
• I won't treat library patrons like they are interfering with my IPod listening time
• I actually know what a card catalog is, or was

I realize these are not the best responses, but they're the ones I really, truly want to put on my application. Here's what I actually said:

Through recent use of educational programs, my respect for library employees and services has expanded. I would be honored to assist in fulfilling community needs through library employment.

It's not entirely a load of crap. I really feel that way about the library system, although I feel it could be better handled in the private sector. And I really do have respect for a couple of the employees.

Hop On Pop

I love Dr. Seuss.  I've always loved his books.  When we went to Universal Studios in 2000, I even bought a pair of Thing 1 and Thing 2 socks.  But I digress.  Add another book to the list of accomplishments for my little student.  Granted, Hop On Pop is a very easy book, but it's also quite long compared to other first readers.  By the end of it, KD was getting a bit lazy or frustrated or bored, stumbling on words that were easy at the beginning.  I try really hard not to get frustrated with her, but sometimes that's more difficult than it sounds.  Regardless, she finished and was rewarded with a popsicle for her sticktuitiveness.  

Tonight after she gets home from choir practice, we're starting on the first Little House book.  I'm looking forward to seeing how she reacts to the idea of frontier life.  She already knows that Laura Ingalls made her own toys because they didn't have stores.  I think I'm looking forward to the journey through time more than she is. 

Another Step in Our Journey

When KD and I went to the library the other day, we picked up several Step 1 reader books, featuring Thomas the Tank Engine and the Berenstein Bears. The first night, we both got a bit frustrated, so I told her not to worry and we'd try again tomorrow. We didn't get around to it again until bedtime the following night. I was expecting a bit of frustration like the night before, but being prepared for it made it easier. I had to give prompting a bit and explain some of the bigger words, but SHE READ THE BOOK TO ME!

I have to admit, I'm not the most consistent homeschooling mom. I spend too much time on the computer some days. I'm behind on lesson plans, laundry and dishes. I do, however, have a very easy going, determined little self-starter. She reminds me to take her vitamins, instead of the other way around. When she's bored, and none of her pretend friends want to play, she asks permission to get on the computer and play with her reading games. The games on www.Starfall.com have been among her favorites and have made greater strides in teaching her how to read than I have. I've read countless books to her and "caught" her reading a few times, but she and I have never just sat down and tried to work through a beginner's level book together. Usually, she picks out a book from the library based on the cover art; the words used in those books are usually over her head. After we've read the book a few times, she'll come to me and say she can read it, but she's usually just working from memory.

Needless to say, I'm a lot more motivated to work with her on her reading. I don't personally know any kindergarteners in public school, so I don't know they're average reading levels. I do know that in order to graduate kindergarten, a child has to be able to read at a basic level. If that were the only requirement, I think KD would be graduating in about 2 months or so. We'll see.

Conundrum

I was supposed to hear about a 1-year contract position on Thursday, but Fay had other plans. I'm sure that the office will reopen tomorrow, so I will know for sure whether or not the next year will be spent at a payroll position. Part of me wants to get out of the house and get paid for it. I kinda miss the interaction of coworkers, the good and the bad. We sure could use the money, which is why I started job hunting again in the first place.

On the other hand, I really enjoy being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling my daughter. We have fun learning new things together. I love watching the light of knowledge shine in her big, brown eyes. If/when I get a job that will require her to attend school, her teacher will get to see that daily (and probably won't even notice, because she has 28+ other kids to deal with). I feel like I'm failing my daughter in some way by delaying homeschooling. Truth be told, failing her in a lot of ways.

I'm not a school snob. I don't think that the parents who choose to send their children to public or private schools are doing anything wrong. I feel that homeschooling is best for our family, plain and simple. I won't go into all the reasons here (that's for another blog on another day). Suffice it to say that the pros and cons were weighed and the pros won.

$15.50 per hour doesn't seem like a lot, but that amount will make a lot of changes in our lives, for the good and the bad. And I find out tomorrow.

Higher Expectations

I'm smarter than most people I know. No, I'm not boasting or exaggerating. It's a simple fact. At 4 years old, I tested with an IQ of 163. I started school early, attended gifted classes from kindergarten through 6th grade, and participated in academic competitions from 6th grade through the first half of my junior year. I eventually came to hate being smart. In my senior year, I dumbed myself down to be accepted, instead of rising to my true potential. I skipped school, started smoking pot and graduated 6 months late with a 2.9 average. I got pregnant at 18 and married a man of less than average intelligence, then allowed him to take me down a few notches and make me feel stupid on a regular basis. The marriage didn't last very long, but the damage did.

I was in a different place in my life then. I have overcome that low point in my life, but I never got back on track to rise to my true potential. Every job I've ever taken was average. I've delivered pizza, worked the drive-thru, entered countless amounts of data that a monkey could do if employers could hire monkeys, and I've never earned more than $10 per hour. I was also an independent beauty consultant with a well-known direct sales cosmetics company, as well as a candle consultant with a popular candle company. Each time I would start becoming successful in a job or business opportunity, something happened and I'd screw things up. I used to say that the reason I job-hopped so often, was that I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up. I just think I was scared to commit to anything. I started back to school a few years ago, but allowed life to get in the way of completing my AA degree. For some strange reason, life always got in the way of my becoming successful. I always ended up on the low end of average, just like in high school.

I am now remarried to the love of my life and together we have 3 great kids. My children mean the world to me. I'm already seeing my 12 year old daughter going through the same ridicule I experienced and she's starting down the same "dumbing-down" path that I did. I'm not sure how to stop her from making the same mistakes I did, especially when I'm still making some of those mistakes and she may just be learning from my example.

It's high time I started setting a new example. I have an excellent propensity for knowledge. I've never capitalized on that propensity, always taking the easy way out. Now that I'm familiar with the law of attraction, I know that I brought those things upon me because it's what I expected of myself. Rather than wallow in self pity about my past any longer, I'm setting higher expectations. I want it all. I want to successfully homeschool my children, so that they don't succumb to the same kinds of peer pressure that I so eagerly embraced. I want to work for myself and earn enough money that my husband only works because he wants to, not because he has to. I want a professional title that earns respect among my peers and earns me the income to go along with that respect. I think I may have just found the path that I need to follow, in order for all these dreams to come true. I don't know what's at the top of the staircase just yet, but I'm taking the first few steps in faith. Faith in myself, my family and my newly acquired knowledge of how the universe answers if you just know the right questions to ask. In the meantime, I'm gaining inspiration and determination by listening to my new theme song:

I ain't settlin' for just gettin' by
Had enough of so-so for the rest of my life
Tired of shootin' too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time
I ain't settlin' for anything less than everything
~~~~Settlin' by Sugarland

Why I Choose NOT to Vaccinate

HPV Vaccine Blamed for Teen's Paralysis

Original Article may be viewed at http://www.mercola.com

A month after 13 year old Jenny Tetlock was vaccinated against the HPV virus, she missed the lowest hurdle in gym class. It was the first sign of a degenerative muscle disease that 15 months later left her nearly completely paralyzed.

Her father, Philip Tetlock, a professor at UC-Berkeley, has embarked on an odyssey to find out whether the vaccine, Gardasil, is to blame.

Tetlock is not the only one concerned. The public watchdog group Judicial Watch has been periodically obtaining adverse event reports on Gardasil from the FDA. 10 deaths have been linked to Gardasil since September 2007, and there have been 140 reports so far this year of serious side effects such as miscarriage and Guillain-Barré syndrome.

Sources:

• U.S. News and World Report July 2, 2008

• A Judicial Watch Special Report: Examining the FDA’s HPV Vaccine Records June 30, 2008

Multiple streams of income

Though I am already successful in working from home, I'm always on the lookout for new opportunities.

• I've signed up to complete surveys, but that just seemed like a big waste of time.
• I am an online stock photographer with Dreamstime. To check them out, click here ---> http://www.dreamstime.com/res637883
• I have done mystery shopping off and on since July of last year. While some businesses do require a start-up fee, you should never pay a company for the privilege of mystery shopping for them. You can get more information here ---> http://www.volition.com
• For a legitimate home-based business with no large investment and no products to sell, distribute or stock, check out my website here ---> http://www.stayinhomeandhealthy.com

I will continue to post more legitimate work from home opportunities as I remember/find them.

My forum ad

I am a SAHM and homeschooling parent, who just so happens to be making money from home, too! I am partnered with a 23 year old manufacturing company that provides unique, consumable products that people use in their homes every day. I don't have to sell, stock or deliver any products and this is NOT multi-level marketing. I have access to a free website, plus unlimited training and support! The information is also free, so why not check it out?

http://www.stayinhomeandhealthy.com

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